where have all the witch doctors gone???

boy, i been straight trippin!



my wonderful friend letty, got me a copy of "tim and eric awesome show, great job!" season one

for xmass. i have been watching too much, and i am sure it is giving me brain lesions. so this morning i made a decision. that from today till the new year, i will watch nothing but depressing ass foreign films.

starting with

Dekalog (The Decalogue) directed by Krzysztof Kieślowski

if i get through that

then i will continue with

Berlin Alexanderplatz directed by Rainer Werner Fassbinder



one set of polish films based on the ten commandments, and another set of films based on a debbie downer german novel.



hollerzscht!

the big three killed my overlord.

i think rainey is right.
tell me what you think. let go of my ego! where have all the rebelde's gone? they don't dance no more.

i've been a wreck lately. not much happening on the sleep front. high anxiety is a plus. nightmares are fun.


on the real the riz has been glue to my shattered madness, bless her heart! thats good. looking forward to my mom visiting, only cuz i plan on ditching her drunk ass in red hook for a night or two(dead ass!).


no mas!



time to pot or get off the shit.



shed will be the skin!

Happy ThanksGenocide!

this is the part of the year when americans give thanks...they give thanks for being lucky enough to not be brown, to not have had their whole race extinguished in a publicly agreed upon genocide. Thank you forefathers for tricking the natives and knowing who to point your muskets at. Thank you for stealing land. Thank you for using substance abuse as a cultural weapon against those different than yourselves. Thank you for starting the history of our country off on the right foot. But most of all, Thank you so much, for having the balls to dedicate our most american holiday to the disney fied memory of our "coexistence".

here are some keywords i would like you to remember, or google.
firewater,chief jay strongbow,wounded knee,red face, and trail of tears.

mother punch

it does effect the doctors, and thats my main problem...

and so on...

favorite part of my day, is when an old somebody comes in and delves headfirst into the minutiae of their ailments,disease,family history, to me. and i am tasked with the predicament of acting as if uncle emmett having polio and a case of the shingles really matters to me. i deserve a daytime emmy award. the shit eating grin i wear during all this is priceless, but it is also taxing. is it mean to know deep down that i could not give two shits if you have had a headache for a whole week, or that your brother is also in the hospital and how that somehow means i should do extra work for poor little you.

yeah, no.

least favorite part of my day, is more like the whole days worth of bitching and moaning,crystallizing into a solid malignant mass just behind my frontal lobe. and once the caffeine and internet fuckery wear off, oh how it throbs! there are some people who have taken complaining to new heights. they all either work where i work or see doctors here.

example: a coworker the other day, complained about how much she has to complain.

(i was the only one who saw the humor in that)

and yes, its throbbing right now.

here are some pictures that have everything to do with this post...

enjoy!

yarmulke?

yesterday, a young women with a serious developmental disability stumbled in to

be seen. her mom was with her, and they were in full hasidim uniform.

in a moment of watching this girls mother struggling with her yiddish diaper, i wondered...

is there such a thing as statutory faith!!????

are people forcing their religious belief systems on children before they are even

old enough to shit without wanting to touch it???

is that fucked up

its not that i don't respect said belief systems.

i just find it fishy that they can't let their little mutants

decide for themselves...

they would be heartbroken if little saul became a hindu...

or john paul mormon became an atheist

or worse

if one of these kids, turned 13 and decided to drink babies blood

to gain the power of flight, the parents wouldnt be very understanding of the

left hand path.

shouldnt there be some kind of special hell/heaven for kids who havent decided

what kind of god they believe in...

sort of like a twisted pinata party...everyone is having a blast, but they are

also bleeding from the eyes.

obviously my mom didnt do a good job of raping my beliefs.

god damn pentecostals!!!!

i mean do they really expect a short story book to convince

us?...

we have the internetz now kid!

all praise the bandwidth.

i hope this offended somebody.

ox

m

taste the rainbow motherfucker!

this south american lady, that i hooked up
with an appointment today, gave me a
bag of skittles as some kind of tip.
i think the idea of the impending sugar high,
made me giddy.

wtf

i officially inhabit a place where some jerk off with
a headache giving me a bag of candy, could make
or break my day!

anybody there?
is this thing working!
please please please
come get me fired.

blame the candy

fiesta sorpresa: or how to properly ice luge jack daniels.

these are some pics from the krautkrotch's surprise bday party.
wow, what a night! yes that is an ice luge, and yes that is a double pump beer funnel.
there was a great cake fight.
good times

ps as you can see, we got fucked up!

chilp pockets on stones...

commute

i take the 4 train to work

ridership is up by three hundred percent.



this means that twenty minutes into my 45-60 minute ride, its packed.
packed enough that i get rudely disturbed, which ruins my lexington line nap.



so this morning i wake up to an old lady trying to stand on my ankle,
a middle aged puerto rican dude with his spic baby maker way to close to my face,
and a jamaican lady staring directly into my eyes.

wtf

what you can't tell by simply seeing this picture...

i was about to vomit, cause i got a whiff of the aforementioned old lady.

she smelled like a dirty omelette.

thats life in the big city!

...

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

George Carlin

happy birthday krautkrotch!

felix its your uncle!

rand(u)mb! volume 2

phontos like a motherfucker!

inappropriate??

...here is yet another reason why they make me sit at the kids table during
thanksgiving dinner.


so, today has been quite an odd day.
i'm sick, not sure, it might be mad cow.
woke up dumb earlier than i needed to.
i decide it would be smart to watch porn
instead of going back to sleep.
upon arriving at work, i realize that i am
in a giddy/giggly mood.
not in a sweet, cute and cuddly way.
but more like in an embarassing, lecherous
old man fashion.
not good when some commission is
investigating the department you work in.
not good at all.
it certainly allows for some hilarious situations.
for instance...
when someone comes to spot check my work station
and informs me that i cant drink coffee at my desk, instead
of admitting my guilt, i try wholeheartedly to convince them
that i am not drinking coffee, all the while giggling in their
face.
(not good)

for instance...
when a patient begins to complain that they have
been waiting too long, and you decide to try and lighten
things up with a joke about the situation,
something along the lines of "seeing that you got some time, you mind filing these charts?"

or my favorite...
when one of my elderly patients bends slightly to fill
his cup at the water cooler, and basically craps his pants
with a wet thunderous roar, and i start cackling
till i almost pass out.
yeah!

btw...
nobody thought any of this was funny.
not one person.
no co workers, administrators, people standing by.
nadie!


i will more than likely hear about that whole coffee thing.
yay.
i am a fucking secretary.

obizzie got it on lock!

wow
obama got his own channel on dish network.
bad ass!
mcbloodshed don't got none.

this is by no way an endorsement.

i am just saying, if he gets into the white house, don't be surprised if the first
thing homie does is put his stacy adams' on.

PIMP

spread em

dirty little bear slut

she keeps them wide open

for strangers

so they could hit it from the front.

27 on the 27th

and so it was...

i turned 27 this past saturday.
and decided to celebrate with two
days of festivities, and a third day
absolutely by mistake.


last friday
i got duped into having a trashy
bday bash at club duvet!
wack ass excuse for a new york night club.
i knew i would hate it.
but absolutely loved the idea of getting all dressed up,
and making a big deal about going to a place i dislike.

the place bit ass.
the bouncers, while molesting my pretty brown ass, almost
found two grams of my favorite party favors.
and the open bar was a jip cause only one bartender
was serving.
still chugged like four free vodka and cranberry's.
the music was horrible.
enjoyed some dancehall ish though.
party favors were up and flying.
shots were had.
patron
wild turkey etc.

the beds were wack.
by half past midnight, i was piss drunk.
and dont recall much.
this evening was fly because of the people who came out.
what happened at the end of the night, is blurry, and
should stay between me and roz. LOL
good times

saturday
a few of my closest friends, took me out to eat
raw oysters.
amazing!
kumamoto's motherfucker.
after that we had numerous beverages
at a blarney stone in hell kitchen.
and then my great friends and incredible girlfriend surprised me
with a show to see
the legendary comic Paul Mooney!
yeah son, nuts.
i think he did a two hour set.
PERFECTION!

now sunday...
that was on some mistake shit.
me and the roz, on almost four hours
of sleep in two days, we went to
a friend of ours' engagement party/brunch style
at Tosca's.
buffet set up.
good eats.
and unlimited mimosa's!
bad news.
at one point all of the couples friends and family looked
in awe, as me and roz chugged down champagne glasses
and demanded more.
after that everyone seemed to accept the idea of getting
sauced on a sunday afternoon.
which is what we did.
and for sure after we got home,
we continued to drink.

what a weekend!

here are some pics...
there are many more, and i am sure i will be
forced to put some of the others up at a later date.

enjoy!

hate hate hate hate

my handwriting is horrible!

hate mail isnt illegal right??

rand(u)mb!

standing funeral!

Puerto Rico corpse kept upright for 3-day wake
2 days ago
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) — A Puerto Rican man has been granted his wish to remain standing — even in death.
A funeral home used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina standing upright for his three-day wake.
Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother's living room.
His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: "He wanted to be happy, standing."
The owner of the Marin Funeral Home, Damaris Marin, told The Associated Press the mother asked him to fulfill her dead son's last wish.
Pantoja was found dead Friday underneath a bridge in San Juan and buried Monday. Police are investigating.

this has no potential...

it is so cold!

apw plus!

these photos are by krautkrotch!

and are so good, i had to post them up here.

enjoy!