hematoma's all over the place!

i, as a member of no movement, group or collective have sworn off boredom. have shrugged off the vice of cable and network tv. have sworn to keep all things motion. if it moves i will shoot it, throw it in the air and leave it where it lies. take these three images as proof, as proof of zero.

yes?

last couple days/dreams 12.28.09

so my mom was in town, and she mad a crazy amount of spanish pork goods, which had lead to me and roz suffering from some wild out stomach issues.


so as you would imagine i have been having some ill dreams!


here is a couple that stood out, and that i could remember best.








1...





i was in this crazy forrest area, the trees were huge, and all the animals were alot bigger than they would normally be. for some reason in this land i had to journey to the east, and to do so i had to climb this enormous tree and tear of one of its branches and use it as some kind of talisman of protection. so i do that all the while laughing cuz deep down i can not even comprehend doing anything like that. just as i am done widdling this tree appendage, i get attacked by this forrest goblin with a huge mouth, and he was threatening to eat me. i woke up laughing like a goon!





2...





i am in this crazy big movie theatre, like radio city or the ziegfeld, i am carrying a bunch of concessions, popcorn, soda and the like, the movie is already playing and i am searching for a bunch of children that i was in charge of...i cant find them, and i am getting super anxious about it, when i trip and fall, everything spills all over the place except for one bag of popcorn, as i am getting up and cleaning myself off, i hear laughter coming from one direction, thats when i see patrick swayze laughing at me while he feeds a baby in a high chair in the theatre, as he points and giggles his face off i throw the last bag of popcorn at his face and exclaim "fuck you pattie, your dead anyway asshole!"...and then i start laughing and pointing at him...then my alarm goes off...

Bodhi: If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love.

RIP Bodhi! i see you in the next life!

hands all dusty...

goings on goings goings on goings on...

currently:

-reading the third book of the dark tower series by stephen king. pretty decent fantasy read. the way king writes can be annoying. almost done with number three and all i can think about is sitting down and rereading some pkd, vonnegut, or william gibson, maybe palahniuk even. i actually havent read this much fiction in a while...

-watching alot of anime, dirty pair, paprika, spirited away etc. at home. still trying to find a bootleg of ponyo in japanese, i dont understand the language but i prefer it...with subtitles of course. also trying to get my hands on the original prisoner series...just saw anti christ, which was incredible, not for the faint of testicle...might peep the new herzog flick tonight.

-still digging for video footage or surgeries while creating my own clips of footage to loop around your skull. good fun! also attempting to create a stroboscopic effect with anal ogue technique as opposed to just creating it in 3d or what have you...that has lead down a road of pointing my camera at the business end of my strobe light...all i have gotten from it is some really interesting light trails, and quite a headache. still searching...!

--

m

the antagonist movement presents...

os gemeos mural tastic on houston!!!

this will be up till march. it is awesome! go see it, stare lean on a hydrant and gaze through. you will not be disappointed. been meaning to go peep it at night. let me know if anyone is interested...


m

so september came and went pretty quickly...

had some authentic caipirinha's at this awesome south american restaurant we discovered...

went to a karate party...

met genesis p orridge!!!

and saw thee majesty perform.

had a panic attack(not cool)!

had a couple shoots...

took part in a good friends wedding. got my hair did.

for my spirit formation anniversary, i had a three day celebration...

hung out at port authority, people watched, saw the yankees give the red sox a baseball clinic at a bar inside said bus station, and watched a midnight showing of 'sorority row'...

went to an authentic bavarian beer garden in brooklyn, which was awesome, had venison sausage, keilbasa and schnitzel as well as huge steins of beer till my memory and got dark, then woke up back in the bronx for a great late night session with good friends...

the next day, my amazing girlfriend hosted a little backyard bbq for us and some friends, charred animal flesh was served, beer and spirits were ingested, life was celebrated!

got a new tat(see above image)!!

bled like a son of a gunderson.but as you know, blood must be shed!

since then i have been getting ready to be real busy, with a number of art, video and theatre projects i have going on, not to mention the ins and outs of a trashy office day job.

mario!

'fizzy womack'

strange moments and other fascinating blowholes...

fml????





people really say this, out loud and everything!
i heard some tweeny bopper, scene chick saying that
on the train at 7 am today.


like her life is really that bad...


lets ponder what she has to worry about in her life...

what katy perry song to listen to while her lame
pseudo skater boyfriend tries to fist her with his
new sidekick.



how to convince her dad to give her his credit so she
can go on a shopping spree at hot topic and finally get
that full body twilight nylon stocking.




when to cock tease her therapist into giving her that refill
on xanax and ritalin...





yes, fuck your life!

on a lighter note...

this is a rough panaromic shot(instax 200) of my room...

lets discuss the mise en scene!

on the far right, last supper clock that i have been adjusting/cutting into. blue hawaii beach towel, ridiculously old and cheap entertainment stand, with a gaggle of dusty components and dvd's. christmas lights, a few small random pieces that are still in progress. a big canvas, which was a gift, that i am still working on(more on that in another post).

and to top it all off...

yes that is greys anatomy being played on the tv!

empty.trans.mission.2wo

just a bite size morsel.

emotional diarrhea?

it was a wonderful experience being apart of
the seven collectives first theatric presentation of CLOSER by patrick marber, directed by david king.

it's only the beginning. the first, living workshop, of much more to come.


now that there will be some time between now and the actual full run. i am now left with the chance to start up, revive, ressurect some projects i had been working on.
- photic stimulation
- video mixing
etc etc...

more on that later...


general feeling as of right now.

i woke up this morning feeling as if i was covered in a paper thin membrane of bullshit. not necessarily sweat. more like a metaphysical haze that has me a bit stuck, somewhat trapped. i wouldnt classify it as melancholy, or even sadness. if anything it is closer to frustration. in part of what, i do not know. but i certainly feel it. possible diagnosis, could be complacency in terms of workplace...routine smashing, defeating, and snuffing out excitement, artistic thrills and inspiration...boohooo! poor baby!


looking forward to the three day weekend, fourth of july festivities, and fireworks!!

flashnews...early summer stylee

it's summer...???


fuck all this rain.


....

i will run it down the line...


-working on documenting the rehearsal process of the first play being put up by the seven collective,
as well as promo art.

-continuing research/reading and compiling of info on flicker, and the way our brain reacts to photic stimulation.

-changing up the way i eat. (more on that after the jump!)

-been searching for my mugshot and criminal record from when i was
arrested a few years back, to no avail as of yet...

-heading to rhode island for me and roz' anniversary this weekend!!!
should be a blast...



trying to eat better, and feel better
nuff said
btw...its working!



ZANG!

bowl cut query...

what is a parent thinking when they decide to give their child a bowl cut??
arent they just setting themselves up for disaster??

don't bowl cuts lead to mullets?
i am pretty sure it is most likely that a child with a bowl cut will...

1. have attention deficit issues.
2. get molested in the basement of their little league coaches house.
3. work at a the quik e mart.
4. wear a cardigan with a name tag on it.
5. become addicted to marlboro reds.

my brother has a hollow leg!

been a minute...

went on trips got champagne crazy. this past weekend landed us in this lame open bar on the east side, that we got STUPID at. i am talking pitchers of beer being chugged and all types of good times.

yesyes

leaving on an avion...

i am out yall!

going to paris, city of lights!

-no french

-no contacts

-and a hefty belly of bust that ass...

should be interesting to say the rest!

artistically, i more than likely will be defacing as much property as possible, and documenting it.

i plan to bring along exactly 5 to 6 rolls of film, that i have saved from years of photo glut...

i intend on coming back with all of them exposed, and yes i mean actual, physical film!

35mm, chemicals, plastic, and all types of tangible positive(negative) glory.

for you naysayers, yes i will have my digital camera as well...yada yada yada

adieu!

m

p.s. stay tuned, i am semi lap top ready, and may just be posting from the field mofongo's!

where have all the witch doctors gone???

boy, i been straight trippin!



my wonderful friend letty, got me a copy of "tim and eric awesome show, great job!" season one

for xmass. i have been watching too much, and i am sure it is giving me brain lesions. so this morning i made a decision. that from today till the new year, i will watch nothing but depressing ass foreign films.

starting with

Dekalog (The Decalogue) directed by Krzysztof Kieślowski

if i get through that

then i will continue with

Berlin Alexanderplatz directed by Rainer Werner Fassbinder



one set of polish films based on the ten commandments, and another set of films based on a debbie downer german novel.



hollerzscht!

the big three killed my overlord.

i think rainey is right.
tell me what you think. let go of my ego! where have all the rebelde's gone? they don't dance no more.

i've been a wreck lately. not much happening on the sleep front. high anxiety is a plus. nightmares are fun.


on the real the riz has been glue to my shattered madness, bless her heart! thats good. looking forward to my mom visiting, only cuz i plan on ditching her drunk ass in red hook for a night or two(dead ass!).


no mas!



time to pot or get off the shit.



shed will be the skin!

Happy ThanksGenocide!

this is the part of the year when americans give thanks...they give thanks for being lucky enough to not be brown, to not have had their whole race extinguished in a publicly agreed upon genocide. Thank you forefathers for tricking the natives and knowing who to point your muskets at. Thank you for stealing land. Thank you for using substance abuse as a cultural weapon against those different than yourselves. Thank you for starting the history of our country off on the right foot. But most of all, Thank you so much, for having the balls to dedicate our most american holiday to the disney fied memory of our "coexistence".

here are some keywords i would like you to remember, or google.
firewater,chief jay strongbow,wounded knee,red face, and trail of tears.

mother punch

it does effect the doctors, and thats my main problem...

and so on...

favorite part of my day, is when an old somebody comes in and delves headfirst into the minutiae of their ailments,disease,family history, to me. and i am tasked with the predicament of acting as if uncle emmett having polio and a case of the shingles really matters to me. i deserve a daytime emmy award. the shit eating grin i wear during all this is priceless, but it is also taxing. is it mean to know deep down that i could not give two shits if you have had a headache for a whole week, or that your brother is also in the hospital and how that somehow means i should do extra work for poor little you.

yeah, no.

least favorite part of my day, is more like the whole days worth of bitching and moaning,crystallizing into a solid malignant mass just behind my frontal lobe. and once the caffeine and internet fuckery wear off, oh how it throbs! there are some people who have taken complaining to new heights. they all either work where i work or see doctors here.

example: a coworker the other day, complained about how much she has to complain.

(i was the only one who saw the humor in that)

and yes, its throbbing right now.

here are some pictures that have everything to do with this post...

enjoy!

yarmulke?

yesterday, a young women with a serious developmental disability stumbled in to

be seen. her mom was with her, and they were in full hasidim uniform.

in a moment of watching this girls mother struggling with her yiddish diaper, i wondered...

is there such a thing as statutory faith!!????

are people forcing their religious belief systems on children before they are even

old enough to shit without wanting to touch it???

is that fucked up

its not that i don't respect said belief systems.

i just find it fishy that they can't let their little mutants

decide for themselves...

they would be heartbroken if little saul became a hindu...

or john paul mormon became an atheist

or worse

if one of these kids, turned 13 and decided to drink babies blood

to gain the power of flight, the parents wouldnt be very understanding of the

left hand path.

shouldnt there be some kind of special hell/heaven for kids who havent decided

what kind of god they believe in...

sort of like a twisted pinata party...everyone is having a blast, but they are

also bleeding from the eyes.

obviously my mom didnt do a good job of raping my beliefs.

god damn pentecostals!!!!

i mean do they really expect a short story book to convince

us?...

we have the internetz now kid!

all praise the bandwidth.

i hope this offended somebody.

ox

m