Thursday, October 30, 2008

fiesta sorpresa: or how to properly ice luge jack daniels.

these are some pics from the krautkrotch's surprise bday party.
wow, what a night! yes that is an ice luge, and yes that is a double pump beer funnel.
there was a great cake fight.
good times

ps as you can see, we got fucked up!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

chilp pockets on stones...


i take the 4 train to work

ridership is up by three hundred percent.

this means that twenty minutes into my 45-60 minute ride, its packed.
packed enough that i get rudely disturbed, which ruins my lexington line nap.

so this morning i wake up to an old lady trying to stand on my ankle,
a middle aged puerto rican dude with his spic baby maker way to close to my face,
and a jamaican lady staring directly into my eyes.


what you can't tell by simply seeing this picture...

i was about to vomit, cause i got a whiff of the aforementioned old lady.

she smelled like a dirty omelette.

thats life in the big city!

Monday, October 27, 2008


By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

George Carlin

Friday, October 24, 2008

happy birthday krautkrotch!

felix its your uncle!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

rand(u)mb! volume 2

phontos like a motherfucker!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

inappropriate?? is yet another reason why they make me sit at the kids table during
thanksgiving dinner.

so, today has been quite an odd day.
i'm sick, not sure, it might be mad cow.
woke up dumb earlier than i needed to.
i decide it would be smart to watch porn
instead of going back to sleep.
upon arriving at work, i realize that i am
in a giddy/giggly mood.
not in a sweet, cute and cuddly way.
but more like in an embarassing, lecherous
old man fashion.
not good when some commission is
investigating the department you work in.
not good at all.
it certainly allows for some hilarious situations.
for instance...
when someone comes to spot check my work station
and informs me that i cant drink coffee at my desk, instead
of admitting my guilt, i try wholeheartedly to convince them
that i am not drinking coffee, all the while giggling in their
(not good)

for instance...
when a patient begins to complain that they have
been waiting too long, and you decide to try and lighten
things up with a joke about the situation,
something along the lines of "seeing that you got some time, you mind filing these charts?"

or my favorite...
when one of my elderly patients bends slightly to fill
his cup at the water cooler, and basically craps his pants
with a wet thunderous roar, and i start cackling
till i almost pass out.

nobody thought any of this was funny.
not one person.
no co workers, administrators, people standing by.

i will more than likely hear about that whole coffee thing.
i am a fucking secretary.

Friday, October 3, 2008

obizzie got it on lock!

obama got his own channel on dish network.
bad ass!
mcbloodshed don't got none.

this is by no way an endorsement.

i am just saying, if he gets into the white house, don't be surprised if the first
thing homie does is put his stacy adams' on.


spread em

dirty little bear slut

she keeps them wide open

for strangers

so they could hit it from the front.